Hello Honey…Mmmassage!!
That’s the sound you will be hearing on every street you walk in Pattaya and some areas of Bangkok as well. Pattaya Massage includes foot massage, Thai Massage, Oil Massage, Aroma Massage and the famous Soapy Massage. Pattaya is full of massage parlors. In some streets, you will see only massage parlors one after the other and rest are scattered. The price range starts from 150 Baht for a Foot massage and goes up to 500Baht for a full body massage. The duration is usually one to two hours.
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Some Pattaya massage shops are fantastic, some are good and some are shady and dirty. Coming to the fantastic category these shops have individual rooms with a nice clean bed sheet. They will also have some light music and will serve you some juice or tea at the end. Overall a good ambiance with some great massage skills as well.
Now the good Pattaya Massage Parlours, which are more in numbers, will have a decent setup. All these parlors usually have sitting chairs in the front, this is where you get your foot massage. The foot massage is the most common massage done by couples and families. The body massages are done at the back of the establishment. These good parlors might not have individual rooms, the only privacy you get is a curtain. You might get tea served in the end but not by all.
The shady ones you can actually see and tell. If you still went in because you were drunk or you liked the lady who called you `honey’…well what can I say, you will have a dirty massage experience, pun intended. The massage in these parlors is more of a camouflage. It is only meant for the `other’ services. These places are not hygienic, so forgot about the sheets were fresh or not you just laid on the guy’s sweat, sperms crabs, etc. who was here before you.
The good news is, that there are only woman masseuses. I have never seen a man masseuse, sorry ladies. Another good news is all the woman keep themselves very clean, they all smell good and they dress up well. You will see them putting makeup in the morning, sitting outside their parlors. I have noticed that you will see one or two ladyboys in these massage parlors. Which I’m not saying is bad, they too need to work, but make sure to ask. When I went for the first time it was hard to make out if he/she was a ladyboy. As far as my experience goes the best looking girl in any massage parlor will be a ladyboy, so be careful who you choose for a massage, because I could not even run halfway through when I realized that the masseuse is a ladyboy.
Not all masseuses are talented, it’s actually a hit and trial you have to do, for me, it was hard to find a good masseuse who could give me a good massage. But eventually, you will find one. `Happy Ending’ also is not available everywhere. Now happy ending, for those who don’t know, is a hand job (HJ). This, you typically get at the end of the massage. This comes under extras and is charged extra. Some places will also have `Full Service’, that would be sex.
Seventy percent of these establishments will offer you extra services. This service is not offered upfront, but once you lie down for the massage the massage girl will always hint you. 20% of parlors will offer you full service and the rest 10% are plain, vanilla, boring, massage parlors :). The girl will charge you 500 to 2000Baht for the extra service, you have to pay this money directly to the girl. Do remember the massage time remains the same.
If you have by mistake taken a ladyboy for a massage, be very polite and refuse. Don’t be rude as they are very sensitive people. They can get very `Violent’ also, so be polite and under no circumstance get into an argument. You can tip maybe a 100Baht as a kind gesture. As an end resort, you can ask them directly, they are honest people and will tell you.
Eccentric Blogger, Traveler and Consultant.
